The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
