4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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