So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
