apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
