Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
