Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
