If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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