cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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