Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out