I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
