the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.