I hate all girls vehemently.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life