Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.