I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza