You're completely useless in the revolution.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
