how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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