I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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