wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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