he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
