Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
