By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
