no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
