Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
