dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
