girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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