Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
