Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
