I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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