areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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