it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
