I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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