i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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