my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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