Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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