I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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