first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
