Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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