apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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