Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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