I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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