I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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