If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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