wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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