u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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