whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
