two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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