No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
