If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
