Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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