I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
