we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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