apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
