I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
organizing the empties. That sober.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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