We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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