you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
