so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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