so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize