And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize