She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We had to coat check the pizza.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
