im gay
i know
yea but for you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
