i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
