You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
