Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
