There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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