just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
