She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
