...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
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I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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