I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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