8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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