I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
