I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
