I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
