I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
