don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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