I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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